Embracing the Rebirth into Motherhood

The Unseen Reality of Postpartum

As a first-time mom, you have absolutely no idea what postpartum will truly feel like. We may hear about it many times, but I don’t think anyone can truly prepare you for it. For sure, we’re mostly excited about our little one’s arrival, and we often forget or ignore what it must be like for our bodies. I know I did. I wasn’t mentally prepared for it. It hit me hard. I’m not sure if what I experienced was depression, or if I even know what true postpartum depression feels like. But because I prepared myself so much for the pregnancy, maybe that’s why I was able to somehow sail through it. Be it the experiences I had or the support I received, I think I just slid through the depression. Thankfully.

The Emotional Rollercoaster

I sure did experience a lot of emotional turmoil and physical changes, but I can’t imagine what postpartum depression might feel like. I’ve heard moms not being able to feed their little ones because of it, and that scares me. I think every woman experiences a cycle of emotional turmoil after delivery—whether it’s the overwhelming excitement, love, or worry for your little one. There’s the gratitude to God for the little gift you received, and at the same time, fear about their health and care. There’s worry about your body and mind, that they might never return to normal, or about whether you’ll ever want to do anything for yourself again when you have a new life purpose to take care of and give your best to. The fear of losing your old self and embracing the new you—it’s the rebirth of a yourself into a mom.

The Unseen Postpartum Journey

From what I’ve understood after 2.5 years postpartum, it’s clear that postpartum is a long period. It’s not just those 40 days post-delivery that require proper care for yourself. You’re definitely there to take care of your little one, but who is going to take care of you? You need support, yes, you definitely need that throughout.

A parent’s world shifts as soon as your little one is born—or even when they’re just a tiny little seed in your body. And for a woman, when this happens, they forget about themselves, no matter how hard their mind keeps telling them to focus on themselves, too. But you’re so physically and mentally exhausted from sleepless nights, hormones, breastfeeding or not, guilt, and taking the utmost care of your little one, that it’s very easy to forget about yourself.

The “Mom Brain” Phenomenon

And not to forget, the MOM brain. “Mom brain,” also known as pregnancy brain, is a term for the temporary forgetfulness and mental fog that some mothers experience during pregnancy and postpartum. It’s a common phenomenon, often due to hormonal shifts and the significant changes that come with motherhood. You know how I mentioned that your world shifts? Well, that’s proof! You only seem to remember the most important thing—your little one. The rest of the things are easily forgettable, and it takes time to fade away. But I was relieved to hear that it’s actually a scientific phenomenon and holds meaning. Phew!

The Struggle with Routine and Perfection

Although I’ve seen many women get back to routine really soon, I definitely missed the discipline, consistency, and perfection I had before delivery. Even though I was trying, I couldn’t consistently meet my health goals, which were really important to me. Today, after so many years of trying post-delivery, I can say that during these 2.5 years, I’ve learned that it’s okay not to be perfect at times in other areas of life. It’s okay not to be disciplined throughout, because, of course, you have a toddler at home. They will make a mess of things, and we have to learn to be okay with it to maintain our cool. I’m finally getting back to some routine in my life now that my toddler has learned to do a lot of things on his own, and especially sleeping through the night has been my biggest relief. It’s also the biggest thing that has helped me get back to my routine.

Maybe you believe it or not, but not sleeping well is the base reason parents are constantly exhausted, experiencing brain fog, and not willing to do anything else except rest, sleep, or scroll through feeds to relax their brain.

Staying Positive Through the Chaos

But you know what? No matter what, I’ve always talked positively about my experience, and not just talked, but I’ve felt and embraced my motherhood in a positive way. Maybe that’s why I was able to slide through the depression. I was always happy and at least tried to be happy around my kid. And even if someone used to say, “Pareshaan krta hoga naa raat mein?” I’d say, “Shayad ussi waqt woh pareshaan hota hoga, isiliye toh apni mama ko bula raha hota hai.”

That mindset helped me so much. I never resented the sleepless nights. Yes, I lost my cool at times—but I tried to make those moments rare. What truly matters is how you show up, most days. 🙂

The Relationship Shift: When You Feel Like You’re Doing More

One thing I hadn’t expected was how much my relationship with my partner would change after becoming parents. There were moments—many, actually—when I felt like I was the one doing more. Like I was giving so much of myself, and yet still being expected to give more. And honestly, that builds a kind of silent frustration inside you.

You don’t always say it out loud, but you start keeping score in your head—I changed the diaper, I fed him through the night, I barely slept, I still made breakfast and dinner… what exactly did he do today?
And it’s not that he wasn’t trying—he was—but somewhere deep inside, you still feel that you’re the one carrying the heavier load.

This invisible competition starts forming in your mind. You don’t want it to be that way, but when you’re constantly exhausted, even the smallest things feel big. Every task starts to weigh you down, and even small imbalances begin to feel unfair. Your focus naturally shifts—from your partner to your little one, especially in those early days—and that shift, though unintentional, can leave your partner feeling unseen or like he’s no longer getting the attention he once did. It’s not because you don’t care, but because you’re just trying to survive each moment, each feed, each sleepless night.

It took me a while to realize that both of us were figuring this out together. We were both exhausted—just in different ways. But the way I was feeling needed to be acknowledged, not buried. I had to communicate it, but with kindness, not blame—because we were on the same team.

After all, it’s not just you who is reborn into a mother—your relationship gets reborn too. And just like any new life, it needs love, care, patience, and effort to grow.

Finding Your Strength in Motherhood

This is the sad part of postpartum I’m talking about—just to speak its reality. But, you know that one thing that keeps you going? That keeps you motivated to keep doing it? It’s your little one.

Without them, you can easily lose hope and motivation. The starting days of postpartum are tough because it’s the phase of consistently doing and doing with little or no results for some days. It’s only after a few months that you see the results of your care when your baby is doing well in terms of health, reaching developmental milestones, and making the family laugh with their giggles. They’re the ray of happiness for everyone in the family. Just being with them makes you feel so complete, so full of life, that everything else feels insignificant. You just want to spend time with them, and you’re never tired of it.

You even think about whether you want to continue your career as of now or not because you’ve found a more important and worthy purpose in life. The girl who was once so ambitious gets turned into an ambitious girl for her little one—ambitious in her personal life to give them the best and be the best for them.That part I had never imagined.

The Postpartum Realization: Embrace the Chaos

The upside-down home, the dirty dishes, and laundry can wait. So don’t overthink about them. For now, your little one is more important. Be okay with ignoring such things and focusing on them, yourself, and your partner. Because that is what matters the most.

So, what I’m trying to say is that it may feel like this phase will never end, but you will find yourself again soon. Be patient, keep going, and don’t lose hope. Keep making small, consistent efforts every day—even if some days are harder than others. Remember, you’re not alone in this—hold on, mama, and know that you will emerge stronger than ever.