My laptop was open.

Lunch wasn’t ready.

My son wanted my attention.

Slack notifications kept popping up.

The laundry was still waiting.

And all I could think was, Why can’t I do this better?

I spent most of my life believing I was a perfectionist. It wasn’t just a personality trait—it became a part of my identity. Since childhood, I was known as the one who liked doing everything perfectly, or at least tried to. Then life changed. I got married, became a mother, and continued working full-time. Suddenly, perfection wasn’t helping me anymore—it was exhausting me.

As women, we’re often expected to effortlessly juggle multiple roles—professional, caregiver, partner, homemaker, daughter. Somewhere along the way, multitasking becomes less of a skill and more of an expectation.

The transition, however, was not easy for me.

I wasn’t ready for what came next. Juggling household responsibilities, a full-time job, and raising a child was something I hadn’t anticipated or prepared for.

Every day felt like a struggle. I was constantly frustrated with myself—for being unable to keep the house clean, unable to focus on work, unable to give enough time to my son or nurture the relationships around me.

More times than I’d like to admit, I thought about leaving my job. I thought maybe then I’d be able to focus more on my family. That thought scared me too. I found myself in a dilemma almost every single morning when I woke up and started my laptop. I’d open it, but my mind would already be in the kitchen wondering what to cook for lunch. While cooking, I’d think about pending work. While working, I’d wonder whether my son had eaten enough. No matter where I was, my mind was somewhere else.

Whenever something went wrong, I used to blame and criticise myself a lot.

When I couldn’t wake up early, I’d tell myself that I wasn’t doing anything for myself. It felt as though the day had already slipped away, and nothing I did afterwards could make me feel satisfied. I had placed myself at the very bottom of my priority list. And I didn’t realise that this was what I was doing wrong.

I had tied my identity to being a perfectionist. I kept asking myself, How can I become a multitasker when perfection is simply who I am?

Over time, through books, therapy, and a lot of inner work, I began to realise that holding on so tightly to that identity was the thing that was keeping me stuck and making me frustrated. It made it difficult to meet the expectations I placed on myself every single day.

The identities we carry about ourselves—”I’m just like this” or “That’s who I am”—often become invisible limits. Sometimes, they’re labels given to us by others. Sometimes, they’re stories we’ve repeated to ourselves for so long that we start believing them.

But those labels don’t define us. More often than not, they become barriers that exist only in our minds. When we begin questioning those stories, we discover we’re capable of far more than we imagined.

I learned that trying to do everything perfectly made it impossible for me to be present.
The day I let go of perfection, I finally found peace in simply showing up.

Perfection was asking me to be everything. Presence simply asked me to be where I was.

I began to realise that just like I can’t keep everyone happy, I just can’t keep doing everything perfectly too. If I wanted to keep doing everything that mattered to me, something had to change—and it wasn’t my dreams. It was my expectations of perfection. I slowly stopped trying to be perfect and started focusing on simply showing up.

Perfectionism had been keeping me stuck. I slowly realised that nothing in life is ever truly perfect—and it doesn’t need to be. Life isn’t meant to be flawless; it’s meant to be lived. The things I love—my work, my passions, my family—are what keep me going. I don’t have to give them up. I simply have to choose what matters most in this moment and let go of the guilt when everything else isn’t perfect.

I realised that, for me, perfectionism and presence couldn’t coexist. The more I chased perfection, the less present I became. Life taught me this the hard way. Today, I find peace in simply showing up for the things I love and care about.

Some days the laundry waits.

Some days dinner is simple.

Some days work doesn’t get every extra hour I could give it.

And that’s okay.

I’ve learned that peace comes from choosing my priorities—not from doing everything perfectly.

Embracing imperfection and being present—for my son, my health, and my passions—is what keeps me going. When I’m working, I focus on work. When I’m with my son, I try to be fully with him. I no longer measure myself by everything I couldn’t do while I was somewhere else.

Maybe you’re in that season right now—trying to be the perfect employee, the perfect mother, the perfect partner, and somehow forgetting yourself in the process.

Whether you’re a perfectionist or someone who proudly wears the badge of being a multitasker, the most important thing is to love yourself and be kind to yourself.

That makes all the difference.

Today, I don’t do everything perfectly, and I’m still not great at multitasking. I still find myself juggling responsibilities. I still catch myself chasing perfection sometimes.

But now I know how to come back.

I return to presence.

I measure my days differently. If I showed up with love—for my son, my work, my dreams, and myself—that is enough. Because perfection no longer defines me.

Presence does.